THE SUBURBS

By Tony Gladstone

While in to bed the other night, trying to fall asleep, I distinctly heard noises coming from my garage. When I looked out the window, I saw 3 guys stealing things.

I called the police but was told there were no officers in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible.

I hung up, but i was pissed off. Three minutes later I rang them again. “Hello,” I said, “I called you a couple of minutes ago because there were some burglars in my garage. You don’t have to hurry now, because I’ve shot them.”

Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in and around my driveway, plus a helicopter hovering overhead, and an K-9 team, backed up by an armed response unit.

One of the officers said, “I thought you said you’d shot them.”

To which I replied, “I thought you said there were no officers available.

My comment: Whether true or not…it’s a helluva good story.