QUICKIE QUOTES

Smart

  • My luck is so bad… that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

    • – Rodney Dangerfield

  • Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
    – Mark Twain

  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

    • – Groucho Marx

  • The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

    • – George Burns

  • Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

    • – Victor Borge

  • I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

    • – Zsa Zsa Gabor

  • Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

    • – Alex Levine

  • Money can’t buy you happiness… but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery

    • – Spike Milligan

  • Don’t worry about avoiding temptation, as you grow older, it will avoid you.

    • – Winston Churchill

  • The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.

    • Common sense

    About this entry

    You’re currently reading “QUICKIE QUOTES,” an entry on Harvey Tobkes.

    Published:
    07.30.07 3:30
    Category:
    Great Quotes