Humorous Quotes On Old Age

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it. ~ George Burns

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up. ~ George Burns

Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. ~ Benjamin Franklin

The age of a woman doesn’t mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. ~ Sigmund Z. Engel

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. ~ Harry Hershfield

I hope I never get so old I get religious. ~ Ingmar Bergman

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternatives. ~ Maurice Chevalier