THE AGING PROCESS IN FLORIDA

I have been fortunate enough to have a close relationship with 5 nonagenarians.

One was my next-door neighbor, a Hungarian Jew who was interned in a Siberian prison camp. He died recently at age 94 after breaking his hip. Miklosh was an inspiration! He stood 6 feet 3 inches tall, ramrod straight and walked briskly. He and his wife Audrey cherished our grandson, David who loved to entertain them with a song or two. When Dov was 5 years old, I brought him next door to meet the old couple and David would give a little bow and then shake hands and ask if they would like him to sing, “Hatikvah” in his Rabbi voice (which meant in a low, husky voice range). They would get a little teary eyed at this little guy entertaining them and when he was finished singing they always had some cookies or chocolates to offer and of course, David did not refuse.

Another was, Ikey Massa, the business partner of Anita’s father, whose mind and memory at age 93 was as sharp as a tack. He died about a year ago but his 92-year-old wife Anna still survives.

A third, Howard, 94, a gentleman from the Old School that became the paramour of Anita’s cousin, Alice, after her husband died. Howard is very articulate and very dapper with a finely trimmed mustache and a full head of silvery hair. His father lived to age 101 and his mother survived to age 100, so how about that for longevity and good genetic history!

And the fourth is Greta Appel, a German Jewish lady that lives just down the hallway. She is a volunteer worker at a local hospital, goes out to dinner almost every night; she dresses like a fashion model and my grandson David once struck up a conversation with her while she was sitting at poolside reading a book. David said to her, “Mrs. Appel, they should use your picture on a magazine cover because you are the stereotype Grandmother.”

Now this last one is my favorite and a real inspiration and his name is Morris Zipper. I made his acquaintance about 5 years ago on my daily walks at the beach. Morris was born February 18th, 1911, which was the birth date on his driver’s license. Yes! He owns a new Toyota and drives very well day or night. He is very garrulous and many people are drawn to him and he talks a blue streak on any topic, from his stock portfolio, the Middle East, Einstein’s theory, whatever, and he loves people. I generally give him a friendly wave as I briskly walk by him, because if you stop to say hello, you're a dead duck; One day, as I passed Morris, I realized he was reading a newspaper and he wasn’t wearing eyeglasses. I did an about face and when I got in front of him, I was even more surprised because Morris was reading the stock quotations in the The Wall Street Journal. I wanted to make him feel my admiration so I told him that I was amazed that he did not need glasses.

He speaks 7 languages but he and I converse in Yiddish because there is little chance for me to practice the language with anyone else.

Morris’ Reply:

1. I don’t need glasses I have eyes like a cat.

Ich darf nicht glezzer ich hub oygin vie a katz)

2. I have all my own teeth.

(Ich hub alle mein eyginer tzener)

3. I have all my hair.

(Ich hub alle mein eyginer hor)

4. My hearing is perfect. If a mouse comes in the room and he pisses on a piece of cotton, I hear what he is doing.

(Ich ken alles horren ganz gut und wenn a maus kommt arein in a zimmer und er pisht oft cotton, ich kenn em horren vos er tut)

5. I have my own new car, a Toyota and I can drive both daytime and nighttime.

(Ich hub mein eyginer nayer car, a Toyota, und ich kenn treiben bei tag o nacht)

It was a bit rude and crude of me but I couldn’t help asking him, “ Morris, if a pretty girl walks by in a Bikini what happens with your schmeckle?”

Without missing a beat Morris replied, “Vell mit der schmeckle, venn ich shpiel mit em a bissel, ehr geht aroof”.

(Well, with my pecker, if I play with him a little he goes up)

The aging process was certainly retarded by the genes nature gave this old guy and I was astonished at what I heard but I had to tell him that time was expiring on the parking meter and I had to go.