WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second … if there is one.”
–Winston Churchill, in response

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
–Mark Twain

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
–Irvin S. Cobb

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
– Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
–William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
– Moses Hadas

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
–Winston Churchill

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
– John Bright

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
–Mae West