Albert and Harvey

By Harvey Tobkes

Me: To begin, Professor, can you give us a brief explanation of the theory of relativity?
Einstein: Put your hand on a hot stovswe for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity!

Me: O.K. that’s very clear, now can you explain the concept of Infinity?
Einstein: Only two things are infinite, the Universe and human stupidity, and I am not positively sure about the Universe.

Me: Did you ever find that you had been wrong about something?
Einstein: Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new.

Me: When you are doing research on a project, are you always aware of the direction it is going?
Einstein: If we knew what we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

Me: Are you aware that you have set an example and have been an influence for young budding scientists all over the world?
Einstein: Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.

Me: What’s the difference between an intellectual and a genius?
Einstein: Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Me: Professor, in your brilliant mind was there ever anything that you found to be beyond your intellectual reach?
Einstein: The hardest thing in the world to understand, is income tax.

Me: And finally Professor, a question I wanted to ask but was a little embarrassed. Is it true your Jewish mother had a fit when she saw the graduation picture of you with your frizzy hair?

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