A PLAY ON WORDS

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Practice safe eating — always use condiments.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Dijon vu — the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? A dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

You feel stuck with your debt when you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted — It taint yours and it taint mine.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.


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