THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

Grandma

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”


About this entry