THE TWO THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD MAN

The excerpt below is from the book by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner, Two thousand Year Old Man In The Year 200. I am sure most of you are familiar with Carl’s interview and questions put to the Two Thousand Year Old Man.

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Prehistoric man and wheel

Carl: Sir, can you tell us a little about your children?

2000-year-old man
I have more than 42,000 children and not one comes to visit me. But they’re children, so what can you do? All you can do is let them go. I say, ‘Good luck to them.’ Let them be happy. As long as they’re happy, I don’t care. Of course, they should send a note once in a while. ‘Hiya Pop. How you doing, Pop.’ I’m proud of them anyway. I have 21,000 doctors, 10,000 lawyers, 700 accountants, 400 teachers, plenty of scientists, a few rabbis, and the rest are in show business (ten Oscars, twenty-two Golden Globes, seven Emmys, sixteen Tonys, two Obies and a Kasha.
…(Note to viewer: Kasha is a Russian award for country-eastern singing.)

All the great Jewish entertainers gave their parents their awards to put on top of their TV sets. My set is full up. It all started with Moses, who gave his mother and father the stone tablets with the Ten Commandments on them. They went right over the mantel-piece with a beautiful forty-dollar gold-leaf frame around them.

You couldn’t walk into that home without his mother saying, “Look what my Moses brought us from his trip to the mountains.”


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