CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

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By Harvey Tobkes

There seems to be a conspiracy by doctors and I’m angry.

What I have observed from visiting doctor’s offices lately is a disappearance of magazines. Hey, there’s nothing to read! Last week I complained to the receptionist and she was kind enough to lend me her personal copy of People Magazine.

You can’t just sit there and stare at the other patients; if you are lucky there may be a TV set tuned to Family Feud or a soap opera or some such inane show, but the audio is so low you can’t hear it anyway. God forbid anyone would be considerate enough of the patient’s discomfort to install closed captions.

They want you to get to the office on time, sit there like a dummy for 45 minutes, or longer, all the while you are either in pain or wondering if you are going to hear a diagnosis that is life threatening; they want you to suffer the fact that you are a mere mortal and the doctor is a god.

So what’s this all about? A couple of receptionists have told me that the problem stems from the patients who (OMG!) are stealing magazines. How do you like those apples? They can’t afford that to happen! Nooooo! So, they retaliate by removing all reading material and punish the majority for a few “felons.” Come on! Maybe somebody was in the middle of an interesting article and the nurse came out and said, ‘the doctor will see you now.’ What are you supposed to say? Maybe… ‘tell doc to hang on a few minutes as I’m really into the good part right now.’ Nah! Some will nip the magazine and read it at home later.

You know what I say about all this?… Going to see a doctor, why does it have to be such an unpleasant experience? That’s a rhetorical question and to keep myself under control I have to bite my tongue and if I do that, then I might have to visit a doctor.


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