MY MORNING

By Harvey Tobkes

My right side hearing aid stopped working and needed to be repaired. So, I left the house at 9 AM this morning, as Thursday is O.K. for walk-ins at V.A. Audiology.


Hearing problem

After a 40 minute wait, I felt I would be called momentarily and sure enough a young lady in a white coat opened the forbidden door and called out, “Tobkes.” I followed her to an office that was unfamiliar; I took a seat and placed my hearing aid on the table. She picked it up and looked at it like it was a roach and asked, “did you get this here.” Hmm? I thought, what a ridiculous question, but I kept my cool and simply answered, “yes!” Next she asked what I had eaten for breakfast and that went to my brain like a lightning bolt…so I answered angrily, “I am here to get my hearing aid repaired not to discuss breakfast. My name is Harvey Tobkes and I registered at the reception desk 40 minutes ago.” “Oh” she said, “I am the nutritionist, I called the name Hopkins; sir, you are in the wrong department.” Oh shit! when you have a name like Tobkes and you are hearing impaired almost anything sounds like Tobkes.

I tried to control laughing but I managed to apologize and explain my hearing dilemma to the nutritionist and then I told her a topper to what had just happened…many years ago, wifey Anita and I were watching the news detailing the atrocities in Iraq and she exclaimed…”they should put that monster Hussein in a SHREDDER.” I was confused, so I asked her why would you want to put him in a SWEATER??

The nutritionist ate that story up, so we were O.K. No harm done!

P.S. If you must know…I had oatmeal with fresh strawberries, banana slices and a cup of coffee.


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