By Harvey Tobkes


I am leading a bachelor’s life,. My darling Anita slipped on the tile flooring in our apartment, her ankle rolled over and x-rays showed it to be severely broken, requiring 2 surgeries, and 10 days in Aventura Hospital. She’s been in a Skilled Nursing Facility for the past 2 weeks recovering and receiving rehabilitation treatment. She will probably be there another 2 weeks.

So how am I doing without a wife. Well, I do not like a cold thermostat setting for the air conditioner and Anita keeps the house at a frigid temperature (75 degrees). While she’s away I just turn the darn thing off, as the hotter it is the better I like it.

I can do all the crazy things that pop into mind. Eat any comfort foods I choose, and eat whatever and whenever I want, Sleep when I want, listen to loud music, have a Jack Daniels or 2 or 3, watch the football game on TV for 3 hours straight, or anything else I like. Keep the lights on late into the night while reading. Stay on the computer till my behind starts to hurt. Try a new restaurant and flirt with the waitress. Spend money on frivolous things; and this is the best… the toilet seat stays in the up position 24/7, I could go on and on.

But the truth is I can’t wait for my sweetie to return, as I am doing stuff men aren’t built to do, Cooking, cleaning, paying the bills, shopping…I hate it and it all reinforces why men need women and vice-versa. So, hurry home Anita! I don’t care how low you set the temperature, and if the seat is down, that’s O.K. You want to watch a romance flick from the 60’s…go right ahead. I miss you my Koolaboo.

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