I had to look up “paraprosdokian.” Here is the definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian. Okay, so now enjoy!

A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell… in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home… even when you wish they were.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’… and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:… I put ‘DOCTOR.’

A clear conscience is… the sign of a fuzzy memory.

War does not determine who is right… – only who is left.

I used to be indecisive…Now I’m not so sure.

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