COFFEE, ANYONE?

—————————photo———————
This is Jackie Mason’s take on Starbuck’s. Be sure to remember Jackie Mason’s voice as you read.

STARBUCKS

Hot coffee

Jackie Mason

If I said to you, “I have a great idea for a business. I’ll open a whole new type of coffee shop. Instead of charging 60 cents for coffee, I’ll charge $2.50, $3.50, $4.50, and $5.50. Not only that, in their start-up years they had no chairs. I’ll have no tables, no chairs, no water, no free refills, no waiters, no busboys, serve it in cardboard cups, and have the customer clean it up for 20 minutes after they’re finished.”

Would you say to me, “That’s the greatest idea for a business I ever heard! We can open a chain of these all over the world!” No, you would put me right into a sanitarium.

And it’s burnt coffee! It’s burnt coffee at Starbuck’s, be honest about it. If you get burnt coffee in a coffee shop, you call a cop.You say, “It’s the bottom of the pot. I don’t drink from the bottom of the pot. But when it’s burnt at Starbuck’s, they say, “Oh, it’s a special roast. It’s a special bean from Central Patagonia in Argentina …..”

In the early years, Starbuck had no chairs in their stores. Instead, they had these high stools. You ever see these stools? You haven’t been on a chair that high since you were two. Old people are climbing and climbing to get to the top of the chair. And when they get to the top, they can’t even drink the coffee because there’s 12 people around one little table, and everybody’s saying, “Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me…..” Then they can’t get off the chair. Oldies are begging “Mister, could you get me off this?”

Now you become your own waiter. You walk around with a tray. “I’ll take the cookie. Where’s the butter? The butter’s here. Where’s the cream cheese? The cream cheese is there.” You walked around for an hour and a half selecting items, and then the guy at the cash register has a glass in front of him that says “Tips.” You’re waiting on tables for an hour, and you owe him money?

To browse all articles go to >>> http://tobkes.othellomaster.com/


About this entry