CLEVER GUY

If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, here are some of his gems:

  • Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
  • Half the people you know are below average.
  • 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot
  • If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
  • I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
  • OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
  • How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
  • I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

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