UNIVERSAL LAWS

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1. Law of Mechanical Repair ~
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity ~
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability ~
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers ~
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi ~
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law ~
If you change lines (or traffic lanes) — the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath ~
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters ~
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

9. The Coffee Law~
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

10. Law of Physical Surfaces ~
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

11. Doctors’ Law ~
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.


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