ENGLISH LANGUAGE LESSON

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice. Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

So if Father is Pop, how come Mother isn’t Mop? That is just the beginning–even though this is the end.