What’s Good About Being Old?

Oldies date1. The only good thing about being old, is you can’t die young.
2. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
3. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

12. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

13. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

14.Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.

15.You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good.

16. You won’t remember anything on this list.

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