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DEFENDING HIS POLISH HERITAGE

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A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk:

“I’d like some Polish Sausage.”

The clerk looks at him and says: “Are you Polish?”

The guy, clearly offended, says: “Well, yes I am. But
let me ask you…if I had asked for Italian sausage
would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for
German Sausage, would you ask me if I was German? Or if
I had asked for bagels and lox would you ask if I was Jewish?
Huh? Would ya?”

The clerk says: “Well, no.”

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says:
“Well, all right then. Why did you ask me if I’m Polish?
Just because I ask for Polish sausage?”

The clerk says: “Because this is a hardware store.”

Conversation Posted at 09/25/22 6:31 | View/add comments (1) | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Joke



FUNNY CHINESE COMEDIAN

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RUSSELL PETERS ~ WORLD’S FUNNIEST INDIAN COMEDIAN

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Conversation Posted at 09/25/22 5:39 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: General



VERY FUNNY MEXICAN COMEDIAN

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LAUREL & HARDY ~ BEI MIR BIST DU SCHOEN

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CLICK HERE TO WATCH 2 FUNNY GUYS IN A SKIT FROM THE 1930'S

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Conversation Posted at 09/22/22 4:57 | View/add comments (2) | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Comedy, videos



BEI MIR BIST DU SCHOEN

zwani.com myspace graphic comments

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Conversation Posted at 09/22/22 4:52 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Music, Video YouTube



BEST FOODS FOR GOOD HEALTH

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1. Beets: Think of beets as red spinach, Dr. Bowden said, because they are a rich source of folate as well as natural red pigments that may be cancer fighters. How to eat: Fresh, raw and grated to make a salad. Heating decreases the antioxidant power.

2. Cabbage: Loaded with nutrients like sulforaphane, a chemical said to boost cancer-fighting enzymes. How to eat: Asian-style slaw or as a crunchy topping on burgers and sandwiches.

3. Swiss chard: A leafy green vegetable packed with carotenoids that protect aging eyes. How to eat it: Chop and saute in olive oil.

4. Cinnamon: May help control blood sugar and cholesterol. How to eat it: Sprinkle on coffee or oatmeal.

5. Pomegranate juice: Appears to lower blood pressure and loaded with antioxidants. How to eat: Just drink it.

6. Pumpkin seeds: The most nutritious part of the pumpkin and packed with magnesium; high levels of the mineral are associated with lower risk for early death. How to eat: Roasted as a snack, or sprinkled on salad.

7 Sardines: Dr. Bowden calls them “health food in a can.’’ They are high in omega-3’s, contain virtually no mercury and are loaded with calcium. They also contain iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, copper and manganese as well as a full complement of B vitamins. How to eat: Choose sardines packed in olive or sardine oil. Eat plain, mixed with salad, on toast, or mashed with dijon mustard and onions as a spread.

Source…The New York Times: The Eleven Best Foods You Are Not Eating

Conversation Posted at 09/22/22 4:01 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Health



REMEMBER THE LETTERS S-T-R

—————————WILLIAMSTON EMERGENCY MEDICAL SERVICE Pictures, Images and Photos———————-
HOW TO KNOW IF A PERSON IS HAVING A STROKE & HOW TO HELP.

During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall – she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) but she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening

Jane’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital – (at 6:00 pm Jane passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this…

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough…

All it takes is the sense to remember the ‘3’ steps, S-T-R.

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)

(i.e. It is sunny out today.)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke ——– Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is this: Ask the person to ‘stick’ out his tongue.. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

Conversation Posted at 09/21/22 5:12 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: e-mail from a friend, Health



LETTER TO DR. RUTH ~ LADY HAS A SEX RELATED PROBLEM

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ALMOST READY FOR WORKING IN HOSPITALS WHERE PATIENTS WEAR THE GOWNS

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Conversation Posted at 09/21/22 4:48 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Cartoons



SO WAS THEIR LOVE AFFAIR REAL OR WERE THEY JUST HORSING AROUND?

Conversation Posted at 09/21/22 4:18 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Cartoons



AN OLD JOKE – STILL GOOD FOR A LAUGH

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An old Jewish widow was home alone. Nobody ever called her and she had no family. She was watching TV when the phone rang. She races to the phone, anxious to speak to anyone.

She picks it up and cheerily says…Hellloooo! She hears a male caller speaking in an intimidating voice that talks low, and almost in a whisper; using the most obscene language the caller proceeds to describe all the filthy perverse things she wants him to do to her and how much she craves it and will enjoy it. He stops talking for a moment. She says…”you know all this already just from HELLO!”

Conversation Posted at 09/21/22 4:17 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Joke



POTTY MOUTH PEOPLE

CURSING…What the heck is going on out there? Foul language is no longer limited to moments of anger or frustration. Now we curse and swear just for the heck of it.

Excerpt from an article written by By LORI PRICE, for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Foul language is no longer limited to moments of anger or frustration in our relaxed culture, linguists and other observers of language say. Now we curse and swear just for the heck of it.

Pink commode And that, some of those experts say, is making some people so oblivious to cussing that they don’t realize they may be offending those around them. “I cuss in general,” said Percy Walker, 29, a barber. He uses the word that starts with “bull” the most. “Being in a barbershop, somebody is always telling a story about something unbelievable, so that’s something you say when you know something’s not the truth,” he said.

“Young people, for example, are more likely to use the f-bomb in friendly context as opposed to cursing someone out,” said Donna Jo Napoli, a professor of linguistics at Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania. Such flippant swearing may make it seem as if more people are cursing. A range of TV shows, from the premium cable drama The Sopranos to the network sitcom Will & Grace, include profanity in their scripts. The worst I ever heard was on the TV series, “Deadwood.” Swearing is almost expected in pop music, especially rap.

”There are many good words in our language that are disappearing because we use the swear words instead.”


Conversation Posted at 09/21/22 4:08 | Comments Off on POTTY MOUTH PEOPLE | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: I Like This One



WIFE GETS A SIGN HUBBY IS ALIVE DOWN THERE

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WANNA SANDWICH? DON’T GET BEHIND THE WRONG PERSON IN SUBWAY

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Conversation Posted at 09/19/22 5:01 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Internet Humor, Video YouTube



BEDPAN MIRACLE

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Ida Cohen, who belonged to the Sisterhood of Beth David Synagogue, a group devoted to visiting and helping the sick members of her congregation, was out making her rounds visiting home-bound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was less than a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her the only gas can he owned had been loaned out but she could wait until it was returned.

Since Ida was on the way to see another patient, and was behind schedule, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for a container in the trunk that she could fill with gas and there it was…she spotted a bedpan that she always had handy for needy patients.

Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan back to the station, filled it with gas and lugged the full bedpan, (which was decorated with decals of the Star of David), back to her out-of-gas car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said:

“If it starts, I’m converting to Judaism!”

Conversation Posted at 09/19/22 4:59 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Joke



FREEBIES

Mark Morford is right on target with his article about how nutsy we Americans are when something is offered for FREE! Below is an excerpt from one of his articles:


Free plane ticket! Free iPad! Free colonoscopy! Free tank of gas! Free extra set of cheap useless knives when you buy the two other sets of cheap useless knives! Free supersizing of your Coke! Free upgrade to premium membership when you commit to a 10-year contract!… Pay no money whatsoeverBigfish-lifish

Seriously! No money at all! All we ask in return: countless, endless chunks of your time, your brain, your intelligence, your health, your soul, your respect for nature, just a little bit of your ability to think and feel and care about the world.

Come on now, is that too much to ask?

Source: Totally Free! Click Here Now! / Our national obsession, the thing we simply cannot resist, the most magical word of all

Conversation Posted at 09/19/22 4:41 | Comments Off on FREEBIES | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Makes sense to me



YIDDISH PROVERBS

Rebbe


Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven.

A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal.

Man plans and God laughs.

Don’t judge a man by the words of his mother, listen to the comments of his neighbors.

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.

If the Rich could hire other people to die for them, the Poor could make a wonderful living.

The wise man, even when he holds his tongue, says more than the fool when he speaks.

What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t invent with your mouth.

When a thief kisses you, count your teeth.

Conversation Posted at 09/19/22 4:30 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Makes sense to me, Words of Wisdom



PASSING GAS – ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

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Gas — as in excess gas, the kind that escapes without warning from your gastrointestinal tract — is a fact of life. But it’s often an uncomfortable, downright humiliating one.

By itself, excessive gas is unpredictable, annoying, and has the potential to ruin a good dinner party, first date, graduation, wedding, or other celebrations. And when it accompanies diarrhea, it can be a double whammy, leaving you feeling bloated – and embarrassed.
Never mind that it’s a universal problem.”We all pass gas, even people who don’t admit to it,” says Lawrence Kosinski, M.D., a gastroenterologist in Chicago and a spokesperson for the American Gastroenterological Association.

“People are really disturbed by gas,” says Vicky Hertig, RN, PhD, a lecturer at the University of Washington, Seattle, who has researched the topic. “They feel bloated, they feel gassy. Especially women. They feel uncomfortable, not pretty.”

There are a few other things you can do to reduce your gas production – like quitting smoking.

And what isn’t exercise good for? Turns out, a little exercise — walking, jogging — can help stimulate the passage of gas through your GI tract, according to the American Gastroenterological Association.

Of course, you might want to work out solo.

Source: >>>To read the full article posted by WebMD, click here<<<

Conversation Posted at 09/19/22 2:12 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Health, Informational



A MAGICAL FISH TANK WITH SOOTHING MUSIC…BEATS PROZAC ~ Note: Best to watch in full screen. I promise you won’t get wet.

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GKT comment: I used to have this as my screen saver but found I got nothing done, I guess I was too mesmerized by the beauty of the visuals, plus I was having too much fish for supper. I was even able to Air Play this on my TV screen which was incredibly beautiful, but your viewers would probably need Chromecast or something similar.

Conversation Posted at 09/15/22 4:49 | View/add comments (3) | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Fun Time, Video YouTube



Harvey Tobkes

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About Harvey Tobkes

Harvey Tobkes lives in Florida where he enjoys writing about life.

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