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THE GYPSY QUEENS ~ RESTAURANT ROMEOS

Gotta love those Italians! Especially their beautiful men, women, art, culture, food, music and most of all, sweet & lovely Caterina Murino.

Conversation Posted at 03/06/21 4:34 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Entertainment, Video YouTube



BUDDY HACKETT – A VERY FUNNY GUY

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INTERESTING HISTORICAL PHOTOS



>>>CLICK HERE TO VIEW RARE OLD PHOTOS

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THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

Grandma

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

Conversation Posted at 03/05/21 3:53 | Comments Off on THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Cutesy Stuff



JUST 3 PICTURES TELL THE WHOLE STORY!


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STOP WHILE STILL WANTING MORE

————-Lobster Platter——–

You might like to push yourself in different aspects of your life, but sometimes less really is more. Whether it’s exercise, work, or just a nice place to eat, you might be a much happier person if you always leave yourself wanting to come back to things later.

Life has a way of draining your fuel tank, and it’s much harder to handle the curveballs that come your way when you don’t have a reserve tank ready to push you through. You become unhappy because you’ve stretched yourself too thin and everything starts to bear down on you like a ton of bricks. Leo Babauta at Zen Habits suggests you keep yourself energized and excited about life by knowing when to hold back on things:

When we go to a great restaurant, we want to try all the dishes, eat as much of the delicious food as we can. And we leave overstuffed, sometimes painfully so, and our waistlines expand. When I go for a run, often I’ll want to run as far or as hard as I can … and then I’m exhausted, and less likely to want to run tomorrow. When we work or read online, we go from one task to the next, continuously, quitting only when we’re spent, well past what might be healthy for us. How can we counter the tendency to want to do as much as possible? Leave yourself wanting more.
It’s no wonder you don’t want to exercise. You’ve worn yourself out and all you can think about is how hard it was last time. You don’t want to go to work tomorrow because you’ve burned yourself out today.

You might be a lot happier if you just stop while things are good. It’ll still be there waiting for you next time.

This article written by Leo Barbauta

Conversation Posted at 03/05/21 1:45 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Advice



THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE

——————TRUTH———

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

———————————LEASH——————————

Conversation Posted at 03/04/21 6:11 | Comments Off on THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Cutesy Stuff



WANNA SANDWICH? DON’T GET BEHIND THE WRONG PERSON IN SUBWAY

Conversation Posted at 03/04/21 5:01 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Internet Humor, Video YouTube



ARE YOU BEING MANIPULATED?

in the early 1800’s, in Paris, an enterprising fellow opened an office for the express purpose of supplying professional applauders for theatrical customers, such as actors and singers, playwrights and producers. These hired pros were paid to lead the audience into applauding at appropriate places. They were called claquers.

Masks

Following the initial success of this enterprising fellow (we have no record of his name) he expanded his business to include rieursas who laughed at the jokes. Then came the pleureurs generally women, who shed tears at the sad parts. Bisseurs also were supplied for an arranged fee; all they did was stand up and shout, Encore! Encore!

A group of these pros was called, and still are called, a claque. Nowadays, they shill for TV sitcoms, political conventions and other places where audience reaction is important.

In other words, as usual, the public is being manipulated just as it was 200 years ago in Paris.

Conversation Posted at 03/04/21 4:15 | Comments Off on ARE YOU BEING MANIPULATED? | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Did You Know?



ARMY STORY – NO MEDALS

By Harvey Tobkes

Back in 1950, I was in the army, stationed in Stuttgart, but I managed to spend many weekends in Zurich. It was not allowed to wear an army uniform in neutral Switzerland but luckily, I had business attire stashed at the bottom of my duffle bag, and so the dress code was not a problem.

Sailboat-sunset

While in Germany, we enjoyed visiting Garmisch-Partenkirchen at the foot of the Zugspitze. A marvelous resort area. Horseback riding, archery, mountain climbing, boating on a lake were some of the activities.

I was a bit daring and in spite of never having had any instructions, I tried taking a small boat for a sail on the lake. Just when I got to the middle, a gust of wind billowed the sail and I capsized. A one-star general in a nearby boat came to the rescue.

I was wet and embarrassed but he was a regular guy, and very understanding.

P.S. In case you were wondering, the general DID NOT recommend me for a medal, not even the purple-heart.

Conversation Posted at 03/04/21 3:19 | Comments Off on ARMY STORY – NO MEDALS | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Anita & Harvey Stories, Memories



“ONE LINERS” THAT WILL NEVER GET OLD

———————————-

Remember the old-time Jewish comedians of Vaudeville days – Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, and others? You may have only heard of them, but don’t we all miss their kind of humor? Not a single swear word in their comic routines:

*A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, “Are you comfortable? ” The man says, “I make a good living.”

* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

* I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me!

* Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea .

* My wife and I revisited the hotel where we spent our wedding night. This time I was the one who stayed in the bathroom and cried.

* My Wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs. Cohen replied, “So did my arthritis!”

* Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!” Patient: “I AM 60!” Doctor: “See! What did I tell you?”

* A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!”

* Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”

* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started.”

*Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

* Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

*The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that the reason for this is because Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

*There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from law school.

Q: Why don’t Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?
A: It’s called, “Debbie Does Dishes.”

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?

A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

*A man called his mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?” Not too good,” said the mother. “I’ve been very weak.” The son said, “Why are you so weak?” She said, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.” The son said, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?” The mother answered, “Because, I didn’t want my mouth to be full in case you should call.”

*A Jewish man said that when he was growing up, they always had two choices for dinner – Take it or leave it.

*A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, “What part is it?” The boy says, “I play the part of the Jewish husband.” The mother scowls and says, “Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”

Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: (Sigh) “Don’t bother. I’ll sit in the dark. I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody.”

*A Jewish mother gives her son a blue shirt and a brown shirt for his birthday. On the next visit, he wears the brown one. The mother says, “What’s the matter already? Didn’t you like the blue one?”

*Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, “Lady I haven’t eaten in three days.” “Force yourself,” she replied.

Q: What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

Conversation Posted at 03/04/21 3:05 | View/add comments (1) | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Humor



IT IS KNOWN WHERE THE ATALNTIC & PACIFIC OCEANS MEET, BUT LEARN WHY THE WATERS DON’T MIX?

Conversation Posted at 03/04/21 3:03 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: General, Informational



BUSINESS IS BUSINESS

Moses

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I REMEMBER THIS ONE – DO YOU?

keep crying

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MODERN RENDITION OF “MISERLOU”

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A SAD TRUTH ABOUT LIFE

You will not necessarily succeed if you try, but you will not succeed if you do not try.

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WHAT’S IN A NAME

Photobucket

Conversation Posted at 03/03/21 3:30 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Humor



YOU MAY ASK WHO WROTE THIS. WOODY ALLEN, OF COURSE

————-————-
I sometimes imagine that death might be more tolerable if I passed away in my sleep, although the reality is, no form of dying is acceptable to me with the possible exception of being kicked to death by a pair of scantily clad cocktail waitresses.

And yet, there are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you. For instance, I would not like to survive a stroke and for the rest of my life talk out of the side of my mouth like a racetrack tout. I would also not like to go into a coma, to lie in a hospital bed where I’m not dead but can’t even blink my eyes and signal the nurse to switch the channel from Fox News. And incidentally, who’s to say the nurse isn’t one of those angel of death crazies who hates to see people suffer and fills my intravenous glucose bag with Exxon regular.

Worse than death, too, is to be on life support listening to my loved ones in a heated debate over whether to terminate me and hear my wife say, “I think we can pull the plug, it’s been 15 minutes and we’ll be late for our dinner reservation.”

Is it really so great to live forever? Sometimes in the news I see features about certain tall people who reside in snow-capped regions where a whole village population lives to 140 or so. Of course all they ever eat is yogurt, and when they finally do die they are not embalmed but pasteurized. And don’t forget these healthy people walk everyplace because try getting a cab in the Himalayas. I mean do I really want to pass my days in some remote place where the main entertainment is seeing which guy in town can lift the ox highest with his bare hands?

Summing up, there are two distinct groups, hypochondriacs and alarmists. Both suffer in their own ways, and traits of one group may overlap the other, but whether you’re a hypochondriac or an alarmist, at this point in time, either is probably better than being a Republican.

Conversation Posted at 03/03/21 3:26 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Humor



BUSINESS WORLD’S BIGGEST BAD DECISION…EVER

—————————————Screw Uppp————————

Everyone knows the founders of Apple Computer were Steve Jobs and Steve (Woz) Wozniak, but few know that there was a third founder of Apple, his name was Ron Wayne, and he sold his stake for only $800 in 1976. That was a gigantic screw-up… it was a decision made because he disliked Steve Jobs. If he’d held it until today, it’d be worth $70 billion…yes, with a “b”.

Conversation Posted at 03/03/21 3:08 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: business



THE ART OF BELLY DANCING

She is Sadie from Shebygan, Wisconsin, but dances like a harem girl. Please note…Sadie’s husband didn’t just die – he was bumped off. Haha!

Why not ask your wifey to try doing her version of a harem dance in front of a mirror while you watch? Forget that! Just hit replay on this video.

Conversation Posted at 03/03/21 2:59 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Entertainment, Video YouTube



Harvey Tobkes

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About Harvey Tobkes

Harvey Tobkes lives in Florida where he enjoys writing about life.

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