Harvey Tobkes header

ONE HUNDRED YEARS AT THE MOVIES

Conversation Posted at 09/20/17 6:11 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: History, Movie Clip



AS YEAR 5778 APPROACHES….

____________Happy New Year______________

——————————shofar boy—————————————-

This evening, Jews worldwide will celebrate their 5,778th year on this earth! Who would have believed this possible? If anyone had told Abraham that his people would be around this long he probably would have been astounded.

Imagine, we did this without beheading anyone on TV, without a single suicide bomber, without kidnapping and murdering school children, without slaughtering Olympic athletes, and without flying airplanes into skyscrapers. We lasted this long despite 400 years as slaves in Egypt, 40 years of wandering in the desert, the mighty Roman army who nailed us to ten thousand crosses; despite the best efforts of fervent Crusaders, the Spanish Inquisition, Hitler’s third Reich, Stalin’s gulags, Arab wars of annihilation and 100 years of hateful terrorism, hundreds of hate-filled UN resolutions.

How did Jews do it? We survived by concentrating our efforts on education, love of family, faith, hard work, helping one another and a passionate dedication to life no matter what evil befell us. We hung in there in hope the rest of the world would one day overcome it’s hatreds, jealousies, violence and join us in a life of cooperation and mutual respect.

Commandments

We’re not there yet, but we’re still hopeful. And when so many of us enter our places of worship next weekend, this is what we’ll pray for with all the strength in our hearts.

Best wishes for a New Year filled with health, happiness, laughter, success, joy, and kindness and may this coming year bring peace and security to Israel, to the Jewish communities in the Diaspora and to our planet.
_________5778 and still counting______

Conversation Posted at 09/20/17 4:43 | Comments Off on AS YEAR 5778 APPROACHES…. | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Announcement, Think About It!



RITA HAYWORTH ~ STAYIN’ ALIVE

Conversation Posted at 09/20/17 1:14 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Entertainment



FEAR PARALYZES

———————-—————-
By Harvey Tobkes

Unfortunately, there are many brilliant people among us who for whatever reason will not attempt to acquire simple, basic computer skills to allow them to explore the limitless information available on the Internet. I have found that whatever question your mind can conceive, you can probably find an answer on the Internet. It has made a very positive change in my life, and only the other day I said to Anita in future years the advent of the computer will rank with the advent of the printing press.

Although I feel sorry for non-users, I do not feel superior; I just think they are missing out.

Roller CoasterPerhaps it’s owing to fear, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of becoming addicted. I don’t know the answer, but I know that fear can paralyze you physically and mentally. Think of someone who is afraid of heights and would never consider a flight in an airplane.

To illustrate my point, read below an excerpt from the Larry King Show interview with Roseanne Barr. I have truly admired Larry for his eloquence and knowledge, but this is a typical response from people averse to the delights of the Internet.

LARRY KING I’ve never done it, never gone searching. (On the Internet)
ROSEANNE BARR: Oh, my God! It just opens up the whole universe. It’s so awesome. You would love it.
KING: No, I wouldn’t.
ROSEANNE BARR: Anything you want to know, you can find; you would love it.
LARRY KING: The wife loves it. I wouldn’t love it. What do you punch little buttons and things?
ROSEANNE BARR: You just click on this thing. The thing is you got to be able to read, so you have to have strong glasses when you’ve over 50 and then you just scroll down and click. It’s not that hard. I can show you how to do it.
LARRY KING: No, thanks!

Conversation Posted at 09/20/17 0:27 | Comments Off on FEAR PARALYZES | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Just My Opinion



WHY OLDER CHICKS RULE

By our beloved, deceased Andy Rooney from CBS “60 Minutes” Show.

———————–Photobucket——————

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 60 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why…A woman over 60 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 60 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do.

Women over 60 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 60. They always know.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 60 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 60 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed “hot” woman of 60+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 28-year-old waitress.

Conversation Posted at 09/20/17 0:14 | Comments Off on WHY OLDER CHICKS RULE | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Makes sense to me



MATH TRICKS YOU WILL LOVE

———————-abacus——————-

The Trick: Take your salary, drop the last three zeros, and then divide by two.

Example: So if you earn $40,000, you’re left with $20 an hour.

CLICK HERE LEARN 7 TRICKS THAT WILL MAKE LIFE EASIER

Conversation Posted at 09/20/17 0:02 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Informational



OLDIES ENJOYED THESE THINGS~ ALL GONE!

———-

CLICK HERE TO SEE IF YOU REMEMBER THESE THINGS

Conversation Posted at 09/18/17 3:23 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Memories, Video YouTube



STEVE MARTIN AS “THE GREAT FLYDINI”

Conversation Posted at 09/18/17 3:03 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Entertainment, Video YouTube



PUNS TO DELIGHT YOU

1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank. Proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. It turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road … and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you’d be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says
‘Dam!’

23.The fattest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

Conversation Posted at 09/17/17 4:56 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Humor



MY TRIP TO COSTCO

——————————Photobucket————–
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, “Biscuit the Wonder Dog,” and I was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won’t let me shop there anymore..

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends……it will be their Laugh for the Day.

Author Unknown

Conversation Posted at 09/17/17 3:50 | View/add comments (1) | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Internet Humor, Spoof



Harvey Tobkes

This site received ~1,200,000
hits per month 

About Harvey Tobkes

Harvey Tobkes lives in Florida where he enjoys writing about life.

Get Firefox logo