Life has a way of draining your fuel tank, and it’s much harder to handle the curveballs that come your way when you don’t have a reserve tank ready to push you through. You become unhappy because you’ve stretched yourself too thin and everything starts to bear down on you like a ton of bricks. Leo Babauta at Zen Habits suggests you keep yourself energized and excited about life by knowing when to hold back on things:

When we go to a great restaurant, we want to try all the dishes, eat as much of the delicious food as we can. And we leave overstuffed, sometimes painfully so, and our waistlines expand. When I go for a run, often I’ll want to run as far or as hard as I can … and then I’m exhausted, and less likely to want to run tomorrow. When we work or read online, we go from one task to the next, continuously, quitting only when we’re spent, well past what might be healthy for us. How can we counter the tendency to want to do as much as possible? Leave yourself wanting more.
It’s no wonder you don’t want to exercise. You’ve worn yourself out and all you can think about is how hard it was last time. You don’t want to go to work tomorrow because you’ve burned yourself out today.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

Following the initial success of this enterprising fellow (we have no record of his name) he expanded his business to include rieursas who laughed at the jokes. Then came the pleureurs generally women, who shed tears at the sad parts. Bisseurs also were supplied for an arranged fee; all they did was stand up and shout, Encore! Encore!

A group of these pros was called, and still are called, a claque. Nowadays, they shill for TV sitcoms, political conventions and other places where audience reaction is important.

In other words, as usual, the public is being manipulated just as it was 200 years ago in Paris.

While in Germany, we enjoyed visiting Garmisch-Partenkirchen at the foot of the Zugspitze. A marvelous resort area. Horseback riding, archery, mountain climbing, boating on a lake were some of the activities.

I was a bit daring and in spite of never having had any instructions, I tried taking a small boat for a sail on the lake. Just when I got to the middle, a gust of wind billowed the sail and I capsized. A one-star general in a nearby boat came to the rescue.

I was wet and embarrassed but he was a regular guy, and very understanding.

* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

* I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me!

* Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea .

* My wife and I revisited the hotel where we spent our wedding night. This time I was the one who stayed in the bathroom and cried.

* My Wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs. Cohen replied, “So did my arthritis!”

* Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!” Patient: “I AM 60!” Doctor: “See! What did I tell you?”

* A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!”

* Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”

* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started.”

*Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

* Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

*The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that the reason for this is because Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

*There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from law school.

Q: Why don’t Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?
A: It’s called, “Debbie Does Dishes.”

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?

A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

*A man called his mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?” Not too good,” said the mother. “I’ve been very weak.” The son said, “Why are you so weak?” She said, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.” The son said, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?” The mother answered, “Because, I didn’t want my mouth to be full in case you should call.”

*A Jewish man said that when he was growing up, they always had two choices for dinner – Take it or leave it.

*A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, “What part is it?” The boy says, “I play the part of the Jewish husband.” The mother scowls and says, “Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”

Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: (Sigh) “Don’t bother. I’ll sit in the dark. I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody.”

*A Jewish mother gives her son a blue shirt and a brown shirt for his birthday. On the next visit, he wears the brown one. The mother says, “What’s the matter already? Didn’t you like the blue one?”

*Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, “Lady I haven’t eaten in three days.” “Force yourself,” she replied.

Q: What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

And yet, there are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you. For instance, I would not like to survive a stroke and for the rest of my life talk out of the side of my mouth like a racetrack tout. I would also not like to go into a coma, to lie in a hospital bed where I’m not dead but can’t even blink my eyes and signal the nurse to switch the channel from Fox News. And incidentally, who’s to say the nurse isn’t one of those angel of death crazies who hates to see people suffer and fills my intravenous glucose bag with Exxon regular.

Worse than death, too, is to be on life support listening to my loved ones in a heated debate over whether to terminate me and hear my wife say, “I think we can pull the plug, it’s been 15 minutes and we’ll be late for our dinner reservation.”

Is it really so great to live forever? Sometimes in the news I see features about certain tall people who reside in snow-capped regions where a whole village population lives to 140 or so. Of course all they ever eat is yogurt, and when they finally do die they are not embalmed but pasteurized. And don’t forget these healthy people walk everyplace because try getting a cab in the Himalayas. I mean do I really want to pass my days in some remote place where the main entertainment is seeing which guy in town can lift the ox highest with his bare hands?