Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war – haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled.The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future .

After 70, they become Afghanistan.. Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, “How much is that faucet?” The manager replied, “That’s a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.” Mary exclaimed, “My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It’s certainly out of my price bracket.” She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.

The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one. From the storeroom the manager yelled, “Ma’am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?!” Mary paused for a moment….. and then shouted back, “No, but I will for the faucet..”

2. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
“I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

4. A man complains, “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’ “That’s the Tom Jones Syndrome,” explains the doc.”Is it common?” asks the man.”It’s not unusual,” says the doc.

5. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

6. Two cows are standing in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” said Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaimed Daisy.

7.A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

8. If at first you do not succeed…skydiving is not for you.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.

10. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…