FATHER OF THE BRIDE
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Mention the word “wedding” and most people would envision a nervous bride who’s bouncing from one crash diet to another, on a desperate quest to drop the dreaded wedding fat so that she can achieve the Holy Grail of sexy and svelte for the big day.
Crashing right along with her are the Mothers of the Bride and Groom, followed by the bridesmaids, devoted friends and family members who are all too thrilled to don the shimmery, tight-bodiced floral dresses that they’ll quickly convert to window drapes after the big day.
What about the Father of the Bride? Usually, he’s a write off. Squeezing into a tux, he mixes and mingles and nobody’s upset if his six-pack looks more like a keg.
Not so for the upcoming Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky nuptials.
Back in April, Former President Bill Clinton told reporters, “She [Chelsea] doesn’t think I’m in shape. You know, she told me the other day, ‘Dad the only thing you gotta do is walk me down the aisle, and you gotta look good.’ So I said, “Well, what’s your definition?’ And she said, ‘Oh, about 15 pounds.’” (Makes you wonder what she told her mom!)
And it appears he took her request to heart. Looking fit and trim recently, he noted that he was only two pounds from his goal weight and just in time for the big day, which insiders whisper may happen this last weekend of July.
Rumor has it that Clinton chose a fad diet, the Cabbage Soup Diet, to shed the pounds. I hope this isn’t true. Suffice it to say, any crash diet “works” since all you’re doing is undereating calories. But, it’s clearly not sustainable.
And, given the former president’s roller coaster weight history and his prior run-in with heart disease, I’d hope that Chelsea’s wedding would be a perfect motivation to remove his excess belly weight and keep it off with healthy lifestyle habits that he can maintain for the long term. He’s got to look far beyond the wedding and strive to stay healthy enough to enjoy holidays and graduations with grandchildren.
Here’s to a joyous day filled with happiness, with a dash of fitness for life.
Source: Pamela Peeke, M.D. Bill Clinton\'s Diet for Daughter\'s Wedding
HIS LITTLE HUT
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The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him.
Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky.
He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, ‘God! How could you do this to me?’
Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him!
“How did you know I was here?” asked the weary man of his rescuers.
“We saw your smoke signal,” they replied.
The Moral of This Story:
It’s easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn’t lose heart, because even in the midst of our pain and suffering, God is at work in our lives.
Remember this the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground.
THE BRIDE – THROUGH THE YEARS
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To advance the slides, click the arrow on the upper right
CHELSEA THROUGH THE YEARS – CLICK HERE TO START
Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky will tie the knot, tomorrow July 31st.
WHEN WOMEN RULE
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples, but I think a group of women made the rules.
FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TIRES:
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS:
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES:
Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS:
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people..
EGG TIMERS:
Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS:
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female.. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying
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New Law in Minneapolis —
With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a ‘Women Only’ parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.
Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota .
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THIS WOULD MAKE ME SLOW DOWN
After it loads, you can use the CC to get the words in English text.
Posted at 07/30/10 0:53 | Leave a comment | 
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DECOY JEWS
By Paul Belien
In an effort to arrest the culprits who terrorize Jews, the Amsterdam authorities have ordered police officers to walk the streets disguised as Jews. The Dutch police already disguise officers as “decoy prostitutes, decoy gays and decoy grannies” to deter muggings and attacks on prostitutes, homosexuals and the elderly. Apparently sending out the decoys has helped reduce street crime. The “decoy Jew” has now been added to the police attributes.
It is often said that the Jews are the canary in the coalmine. When the Jews feel compelled to leave, the light of freedom is being extinguished. Something is badly wrong when the police need to deploy “decoy Jews.” Once again, the specter of anti-Semitism is haunting Europe. If the Europeans do not stand with the Jews, they deserve no freedom themselves and cities such as Amsterdam and Antwerp will soon be Islamic cities.
Source: Read the full article at BrusselsJournal.com
FUNERAL BLUES [EULOGY FOR A FRIEND]
By. W.H. Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crépe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
DR. SEUSS SPOOF
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I do not like this Uncle Sam,
I do not like his health care scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks,
or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker Nan ,
I do not like this ‘YES, WE CAN’.
I do not like this spending spree—
I’m smart, I know that nothing’s free.
I do not like your smug replies,
when I complain about your lies.
I do not like this kind of hope.
I do not like it. nope, nope, nope
