RON REAGAN & NANCY ENJOYING RODNEY
Posted at 11/15/18 4:31 | Leave a comment | 
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HIMALAYA MOUNTAIN BUS TOUR
Warning: If you are adventurous and decide to take this tour,
be sure to bring a change of underwear along with you on the bus.
MEN WHO STEP LIVELY MAY OUTPACE GRIM REAPER
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Tongue-in-Cheek Study Determines the Reaper’s Walking Speed
By Cari Nierenberg
WebMD Health News
Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD
Older men who walk at least 3 miles an hour need not fear the Grim Reaper. They stay ahead of him and tend to outlive guys who move along at a slower pace, new research reveals.
In the study, published in the Christmas issue of the journal BMJ, Australian scientists attempted to nail down the Grim Reaper’s walking speed. (The usually straitlaced journal loosens up this time of year with offbeat scientific papers like this one.)
While the Grim Reaper is a fictitious symbol of death, other studies have shown that how fast older people walk helps predict how long they may expect to live. Slower walking speeds in older age have been linked to a greater risk of death, while swifter strides have been associated with a longer life.
Older men and women who can pick up the pace are likely healthier and fitter than adults who move more slowly.
So the Concord Hospital research team in Sydney set out to predict the pace of the skeletal figure in the long black robe. By knowing this, they reasoned, they’ll find out how fast men need to hoof it to stay out of the Reaper’s grasp.
Source: WebMD.com
TONGUE IN CHEEK
This article was written by Cap Peterson for Cahoots Quarterly, August Edition, “The official Newspaper of… Hollywood Beach, Florida and Beyond.”
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Several years ago, after exiting from my ocean swim with painful bites from the venomous Portuguese Man-O-War, a Hollywood Beach Lifeguard, Joe Schwimmer, helped me by applying some magic liquid he had to treat the stinging welts. After that day, we became very close friends. Sadly, my pal, has announced his retirement; it will be the end of an era when the famed and legendary Hollywood Beach lifeguard puts on his red trunks and brass whistle for the last time. “It’s been a great run, but it’s time to move on,” he said. “I am officially announcing tomorrow will be my last day.”
Schwimmer, who just turned 45, is a 21-year veteran guard and holds many Hollywood Beach Lifeguard records that will probably never be broken. He has singlehandedly accounted for 1,239 swimmer rescues and returned 211 distressed loggerhead turtles to the sea, although last year he did keep six for a pot of soup. He has intercepted 34 drug boats, deported 438 illegal Cuban rafters trying to reach shore, and found 623 sets of keys without using a metal detector. He also builds a mean sandcastle.
Last week Schwimmer and I had a couple of beers at a local pub and he revealed a little of his personal life. “My dad was a Western movie fan and even kept a herd of buffaloes in our backyard in Cape May, New Jersey. In fact, when I left home the only thing he told me was…”son…Bison.”
Schwimmer doesn’t want a big deal made about his retirement, ‘A life- size statue of me somewhere on the beach would be nice, or they can name a city park after me, something like that, but nothing too fancy,’ he said. ‘Meanwhile, people are always welcome to buy the live me a beer.’
Don’t wait until I’m a statue.
AN ITALIAN WEDDING
Posted at 11/14/18 9:14 | Leave a comment | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Comedy, Video YouTube
JOHN BELUSHI — DUAL PERSONALITY
Posted at 11/14/18 7:06 | Leave a comment | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Comedy, Video YouTube
JACKIE MASON’S OPINION ~ (a satire)
Jackie Mason on speaking Spanish in the U.S.A
There may be those among you who support including Spanish in our national language. I for one, am 110% against this! We must preserve the exclusivity and above all, the purity of the English language.
To all the shlemiels, shlemazels, nebbishes, nudniks, klutzes, putzes, shlubs, shmoes, shmucks, nogoodniks, and momzers that are out there pushing Spanish, I just want to say that I, for one, believe that English and only English deserves linguistic prominence in our American culture.
To tell the truth, it makes me so farklempt, I’m fit to plotz. This whole Spanish schmeer gets me broyges, specially when I hear these erstwhile mavens and luftmenschen kvetching about needing to learn Spanish. What chutzpah!
These shmegeges can tout their shlock about the cultural and linguistic diversity of our country, but I, for one, am not buying their shtick. It’s all so much dreck, as far as I’m concerned. I exhort you all to be menshen about this and stand up to their fardrayte arguments and meshugganah, farshtunkene assertions. It wouldn’t be kosher to do anything else.
Remember, when all is said and done, we have English and they’ve got bubkes! The whole mitziya is a pain in my tuchas!
Jackie Mason
Posted at 11/14/18 5:36 | Comments Off on JACKIE MASON’S OPINION ~ (a satire) | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Humor, Thoughts to Ponder
IS IT MALE OR FEMALE?
A TV Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it’d be male, didn’t you? But consider this – it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s a reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.
A Web Page is Female, because it’s always getting hit on.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male , because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.
Posted at 11/14/18 4:31 | Comments Off on IS IT MALE OR FEMALE? | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Cutesy Stuff, Test Yourself
CHINESE “QI GONG” TREATMENT FOR ENLARGED PROSTATE
Posted at 11/14/18 0:43 | Leave a comment | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Spoof, Video YouTube
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