BELOVED PETS

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

Sad-doggy

1. They live here. You don’t.

2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less

2. Don’t ask for money all the time

3 Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don’t hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don’t smoke or drink

8. Don’t have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don’t want to wear your clothes

10. Don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and…

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

About this entry

You’re currently reading “BELOVED PETS,” an entry on Harvey Tobkes.

Published:
07.15.07 7:01
Category:
Announcement, e-mail from a friend, Humor