CHRISTIAN AND/OR JEWISH 1-LINERS

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited – until you try to sit in their pews.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

I don’t know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.

Forbidden fruits create many jams.

The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: “And in conclusion.”