MY WISE OLD GRANDMA

This story goes back to my bachelor days, 100 years ago. I was in love with a gorgeous redhead, I’ll call Renata.

I was on the brink of proposing marriage, so I thought I would first talk to my wise old Grandma, who was matriarch of the family. I invited myself to her house for the traditional Friday night dinner, gefilte fish, Manishewitz wine, flanken (boiled beef). I had 3 glasses of wine and then broached a delicate subject.

I told her I was getting ready to propose to a girl, and then casually mentioned that Renata was not of our faith.

Grandma said…”Harvalah, don’t tell your Grandfather, he goes to temple every morning and he wouldn’t like it; and be a good boy, not to speak of it to your father, he has a heart condition. And don’t tell your mother because she’s very emotional and doesn’t have the stomach for hearing from mixed marriages.”

I took a deep breath and then she said, “From me, don’t worry, you have my full blessings, and as soon as we finish eating, I am going to stick my head in the oven.”