1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman . . Neither works.
4. Always drink upstream from the herd.
5. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
6. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
7. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
8. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
9. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
10. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

About this entry