The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

2. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

3. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

4. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

5. Willy-Nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

9. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

10. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

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