ZEN JUDAISM

* Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment
will be the least of your problems.

* Drink tea and nourish life.
With the first sip… joy.
With the second sip… satisfaction.
With the third sip…peace.
With the fourth sip… a Danish would be nice.

* Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.

* Accept misfortune as a blessing.
Do not wish for perfect health
or a life without problems.
What would you talk about?

* The journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single, “Oy!”

* Zen is not easy.
I t takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have?
Bupkes.

* The Tao does not speak.
The Tao does not blame.
The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao has no expectations.
The Tao demands nothing of others.
The Tao is not Jewish.

* To Find the Buddha, look within.
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist.

* Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain,
Though your blood and flesh dry up and wither away,
yet shall you meditate and not stir
until you have attained full Enlightenment.
But, first…maybe a little nosh?