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SCENES FROM MOVIE ~ MIDNIGHT COWBOY

Conversation Posted at 05/14/21 4:14 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: General



LITTLE BOY SAVES BABY SISTER ~ HIS BRAVE FEAT WAS AMAZING TO ALL

Conversation Posted at 05/13/21 5:20 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: General



A GOOD RECOMMENDATION

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Conversation Posted at 05/13/21 5:03 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Cutesy Stuff



CAUTION: DANGER OF DYING FROM LAUGHING WATCHING COMEDY SKITS OF GENIUS MEL BROOKS

Conversation Posted at 05/13/21 3:49 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Comedy, Video YouTube



SONG ‘HERE’S TO YOU MRS. ROBINSON” FROM THE MOVIE …THE GRADUATE

Conversation Posted at 05/13/21 3:27 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Entertainment, Movie Clip, Video YouTube



CHURCH SIGN SENDS A MESSAGE ALL ADULTS UNDERSTAND

Conversation Posted at 05/13/21 0:57 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: General



GRANDMA’S ADVICE

* Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen.

Grandmother stereotype* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you.

* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Conversation Posted at 05/13/21 0:18 | Comments Off on GRANDMA’S ADVICE | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Advice, Words of Wisdom



SCHWARTZ IS AN AMAZING CORPSE

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Conversation Posted at 05/12/21 4:32 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Joke, Spoof, Video YouTube



THE WAITER AT THE LAST SUPPER

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WHE N YOU ARE FLYING AND YOU GOTTA GO

Conversation Posted at 05/12/21 3:53 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Cartoons



GEZUNTHEIT!…. LADY HAS A RARE SNEEZING DISEASE

Conversation Posted at 05/12/21 1:42 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Joke, Video YouTube



WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS RUSSIAN BALL OF DYNAMITE DANCE THE CHARLESTON

Conversation Posted at 05/11/21 6:06 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Entertainment, Good Books, Video YouTube



RETIREMENT HOME OLDIES FEELING GOOD! YOU WILL FEEL LIKE LAUGHING

At the Clark Retirement Community Home for old people, everyone gets into the act in a comical lip dub to Michael Buble’s big hit song… “Feeling Good.”

Conversation Posted at 05/11/21 4:57 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Aging, Entertainment



A DANCE TO ENTRANCE

Conversation Posted at 05/11/21 3:48 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: General



THANKS FOR THE HEADS-UP E-MAIL WARNINGS

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From Harvey

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your e-mail “forwards” over the past 12 months. I am very grateful as it has kept me busy. Your tips and advice were priceless…and I am happy to report that because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because not only can it remove toilet bowl stains but it may burn out my guts out as well. Yes! your e-mails have changed my life…

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel. I do not allow servers to put lemon slices in my ice water, because I worry about the bacteria on the lemon peel. I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave, because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones, because a needle infected with AIDS could stick me.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me in addition to all of you dear friends.

I never hit the lottery, but that doesn’t matter, because I am waiting to receive the money that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Once again, I want to thank you again so much for protecting me.

zwani.com myspace graphic comments

Conversation Posted at 05/11/21 2:42 | Comments Off on THANKS FOR THE HEADS-UP E-MAIL WARNINGS | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Spoof



LIFE’S CYCLE — BACKWARDS

You should die first; start out dead and get it out of the way.

Funeral vehicle

Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling better and better every day.

Old couple

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension; then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol; you party; you’re generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.

Valentine's geek

You go to primary school; you become a kid; you play; you have no responsibilities; you become a baby,

baby from God

and, then, you spend your last months floating peacefully, back in the warmth and comfort of your mother’s womb.

I rest my case!

Conversation Posted at 05/11/21 2:17 | Comments Off on LIFE’S CYCLE — BACKWARDS | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Makes sense to me



THE BAR-MITZVAH BOY SONG

Conversation Posted at 05/10/21 5:57 | View/add comments (1) | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Entertainment, videos



THE MARRIAGE BROKER

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A Jewish orthodox family is most concerned that their 30-year-old son is unmarried. So they call a marriage broker and ask him to find their son a good wife. The broker comes over to their house and spends a long time asking many questions of the son and his parents as to what, they want in a wife/daughter-in-law. They give him a long shopping list of requirements. The marriage broker leaves and goes in search of a special woman; a woman, whom he hopes, they will all agree is the right one.

He returns a week later and tells them of a wonderful woman he has found. He says she’s just the right age for the son – she keeps a “Kosher” home – she regularly attends “Shul” – she is a wonderful cook. She loves children and wants a large family and, to crown it all off, she’s gorgeous and has a figure like Jenifer Lopez.

After hearing all this, the family is very impressed and begins to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future. But the son….. pauses and asks: “Is she also good in bed?”

The marriage broker answers: “Some say yes – some say no.”

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Conversation Posted at 05/10/21 5:37 | Comments Off on THE MARRIAGE BROKER | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Humor



JEWISH HUMOR

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Signs Outside a Synagogue:

1. Under same management for over 5779 years.

2. Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case.

3. What part of “Thou shalt not” don’t you understand?

4 . Committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting.
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Lines Borrowed from Great Jewish Comedians:

It was mealtime during a flight on EL AL. “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked Mr. Goldberg, seated in front. “What are my choices?,” Goldberg asked.”Yes or no,” she replied .

An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and is brought to the local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, “Mr. Cohen, are you comfortable?” Cohen replies, “I make a nice living.”

A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: “schmuck.” At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, “I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and forgot to write a letter.

Three Jewish women get together for lunch. As they are being seated in the restaurant, one takes a deep breath and kvetches a long, slow “Oy!” The second takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow “Oy Vey!” The third takes a deep breath and says impatiently, “Girls, I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to talk about our children.”

And one final favorite: A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, “Is anything all right?

Conversation Posted at 05/10/21 4:47 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Humor



RABBI HAS THE ANSWER

Rebbe

A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi.

“Rabbi, Abe and Sol are both in love with me,” she says. “Who will be the lucky one?”

The wise old man answers, Abe will marry you, Sol will be the lucky one.

Conversation Posted at 05/10/21 4:15 | Leave a comment | Mail Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Joke



Harvey Tobkes

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About Harvey Tobkes

Harvey Tobkes lives in Florida where he enjoys writing about life.

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