MUST WATCH THIS ONE ~ FIVE YEAR OLD BOY PLAYS JUMPING JACKS WITH A BEAR
HELL YES! I WAS EMBARRASSED ~ I STILL REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY
By Harvey Tobkes
I was more than embarrassed…it all happened back when I was in second grade. I remember it clearly, all six grades were in the school auditorium singing “America The Beautiful,” when a teacher tapped me on the shoulder and in a stern voice said to me, “Harvey, do not sing.”
I guess I was a little out of tune that day.”
—————–
———
Posted at 08/08/22 5:15 | Leave a comment | 
Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Anita & Harvey Stories, Embarassing Moments
EMBARRASSED JOCKEY IS A LITTLE BEHIND IN THE RACE
To browse all articles go to >>> http://tobkes.othellomaster.com/
Posted at 08/08/22 5:07 | Leave a comment | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Embarassing Moments, Video YouTube
MOST FATTENING FOODS OF SUMMER ~ YUM! HOLD ME BACK
————-
——
>Click here to see Slide Show by WebMD<
Me: Maybe these foods can kill you, but I guarantee you will die happy.
NO PROBLEM ~ WIFEY REMOVED THE STICKY BANDAGE
Posted at 08/04/22 7:35 | View/add comments (1) | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Funny, Video YouTube
CHINESE MAN HAS MAGIC TO AMAZE ALL ~ I GUESS WIFEY DIDN’T LIKE IT!
Posted at 08/01/22 4:46 | Leave a comment | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: General, Video YouTube
THE SAD SAGA OF SADIE ~ SHE WAS A PRETTY LADY
——–
——
Sadie, a 54-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up?”
God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, Sadie decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants, and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”
God replied:
”I didn’t recognize you.”
TRUE LOVE IS NOT DIMINISHED BY TIME
By Harvey Tobkes
It was getting near dinner time on a cold evening here in sunny Florida (50 degrees), when Anita said she would like to go out to eat as the only thing in the refrigerator was a light bulb. We had a discussion about where to eat and decided against Chinese or Italian food and agreed on going to to a nearby deli called TooJay’s, mainly because we both wanted hot soup to warm up and to split a pastrami sandwich.
After finishing an enjoyable meal, we were about ready to leave the restaurant when I noticed an old but lively, cheerful, old (and I mean old) couple wheeled in, both steering walkers to a booth in front of ours. Anita paid with her credit card and we got up to exit, but somehow as we were passing by their table, I knew I had to have another look at at the feisty couple and was a bit stunned. They were not opposite each other at the table, but seated side by side, and holding hands no less. I decided to open a conversation with a little polite humor so I asked, “Folks is this your second or third marriage or just a twilight date?” The old guy parried with…”It’s our 5th marriage as we renew our vows every 15 years.” At that, they both burst into laughter. My next question was…”I see you guys are holding hands, so really, how many years? He came back with… “Well, if you were good in math you would know we are married 75 years and we mostly hold hands to keep from killing each other, but if we are in a Mall, I hold her hand extra tight to keep her from spending money.” Both then went into high hysterics at his little quip which he probably used 1000 times before on nosey people like me. Truth be told, I was a bit in shock as my poor math told me even if he got married when he was 20, he had to be at least 95 years old.
As we left the restaurant, any thoughts about our delicious meal faded, but the memory of those two lovebirds gave me a warm feeling all over that outdid the hot soup on that cold evening.
If you like this posting, please use the “Send this to a friend.” See below.
Posted at 07/24/22 7:47 | View/add comments (3) | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Anita & Harvey Stories
DEATH TO PESKY ANIMALS THAT EAT YOUR TOMATOES by Sebastian Maniscalco
Posted at 07/24/22 6:11 | Leave a comment | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Humor, Video YouTube
FEEL GOOD DEEP INSIDE AFTER WATCHING RYAN PERFORM
Posted at 07/22/22 5:12 | View/add comments (1) | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: I Like This One, Inspirational, Music
BABY WONG
———–
———–
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, white baby boy.
‘Congratulations,’ says the nurse to the new parents. ‘Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?’
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, ‘Well, two Wongs don’t make a white, so I think we will name him…
Sum Ting Wong.
BRAIN TEASERS
Answer: Johnny of course
Answer: Meat.
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn’t discovered yet. [You’re not very good at this are you?]
Answer: Incorrectly
….
ZOOLOGY AND BASEBALL
————
——
It was a zillion years ago when my fifth-grade classmate Marvin Meltzer, asked me what one should do with an elephant with three balls.
I said I had no idea but that maybe it should be seen by a veterinarian. Marvin said, “Nah! Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.”
I thought about this and then you know what I did? I laughed.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR GRANDKIDS LAUGH WHILE YOU’RE EATING SPAGHETTI
Posted at 07/10/22 4:22 | Leave a comment | Send this to a friend | Filed Under: Food, Fun Time, videos
HOW FEMALE ANIMALS LET MALE ANIMAL KNOW THEY ARE READY FOR SEX (joke)
————-
——–
Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating.
She said: “How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?”
I replied: “He can smell she is ready . That’s how nature works.”
We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.
Again my girlfriend asked: “How does the ram knew when the ewe is ready for sex?”
I replied: “It’s nature. He can smell she is ready.”
We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating with the cow.
My girlfriend said: “This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can’t smell when she is ready?”
I said: “Oh, yes; it’s nature . All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex.”
Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye.
She said: “Take care and get yourself checked out for Covid-19.”
Surprised, “Why do you say that?” I asked her.
She replied: “You seem to have lost your sense of smell.”
WHY NOBODY KNOWS
NOBODY KNOWS EXACTLY WHO HOLDS THE PATENT FOR THE FIRE HYDRANT BECAUSE THE PATENT OFFICE THAT HELD THE RECORDS BURNED DOWN.
|
This site received ~1,200,000 hits per month |
