WHY I AM SO DEPRESSED

Nearly 75 years ago, president Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land”.

Now our Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, foreclosures, the wars, terrorism, oil polluting the oceans, volcanic ash polluting the atmosphere, lost jobs, Ponzi white-collar criminals a la Madoff, social security running out of money, retirement funds evaporating, etc., that I called “Lifeline”, the suicide help line.

Got a freakin’ call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck…