THE GRADUATE – “THANK YOU” SPEECH

WOW! This is a huge surprise. I mean, I don’t even remember applying to Yale. Kidding, kidding. So many people to thank; I don’t even know where to begin.

There’s my whole team at Scarsdale High: my guidance counselor, Mr.Rondtree. Rondtree, you rock! My behavioral therapist since fifth grade, Mrs. Klein …we did it! It’s not Harvard, but it’s better than Syracuse! Of course, everyone on the Wampanoag Elder Council: thank you for granting me tribal status and allowing me to claim Native American heritage on my application. I know my dad does a lot of legal work for you guys, but I’d like to think you consider me a real American Indian. Finally, I want to thank Dana Schwartz, and just as much, really, Dana’s mom, Jocelyn, for letting Dana go to the prom with me even though she’s a sophomore. Dana, even though you puked, you made that night very special, if you know what I mean, and I thank you for it.