IF MY BODY WERE A CAR

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If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull But that’s not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here’s the worst of it —

And the worst of it is…almost every time I cough or sneeze, either my water-pump leaks or my exhaust backfires!

About this entry

You’re currently reading “IF MY BODY WERE A CAR,” an entry on Harvey Tobkes.

Published:
08.25.10 0:38
Category:
General, Internet Humor