CLEVER GUY

If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, here are some of his gems:

• Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
• Half the people you know are below average.
• 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot
• If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
• I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
• OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
• How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
• I intend to live forever – so far, so good.