PERKS OF GETTING OLD

People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

It’s O.K. you can live without sex. You can’t live without your glasses!

High gas prices…who cares? You don’t drive much anymore and if you do, 20 mph is your top speed.

You sing along with elevator music.

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run–anywhere.

At 4 PM you’re ready for supper and can’t wait to discover what the Early Bird Special is today.