If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he’s the famous erudite scientist; his mind sees things differently than we do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his gems:

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.


99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

I intend to live forever so far, so good.

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