BENEFITS OF BEING… OLD

Oldie-walker

  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  • Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • Your eyes won’t get much worse.
  • No one expects you to run into a burning building.
  • There’s nothing left to learn the hard way
  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

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    You’re currently reading “BENEFITS OF BEING… OLD,” an entry on Harvey Tobkes.

    Published:
    11.06.11 0:07
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