PUN INTENDED

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

6. Patient: “Doctor, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’
Doctor: “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
Patient: “Is it common?”
Doctor: Well, “It’s Not Unusual.”

7. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.

8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

9. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

10. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.

11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

12. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were cold, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

13. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

14. And finally, Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)….. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.