THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE

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I don’t know if you have this problem in your area, but here in Florida many of the receptionists in doctor’s offices are quite rude. They keep you standing at that dopey little closed glass window, totally ignoring you.

After half an hour, I ignore the ‘Do not tap on the window’ sign and I tap on the window. This always drives them nuts. If you tap, they put down their Egg McMuffin or their copy of People magazine, and fling open the window, ready for a fight. I lie, explaining I tapped on the window accidentally because I have Parkinson’s.

They claim they are required to keep the window closed because of the privacy law, but l don’t believe it. Are they afraid if I were to overhear that Dave Rosenberg has hemorrhoids, or maybe I would blackmail him or sell the information to a foreign government?

In Florida, everyone has hemorrhoids!