VERTICALLY CHALLENGED OLDIES & LIFE IN FLORIDA

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Should you find you are bored and have time on your hands, volunteering provides a rewarding opportunity to help the less fortunate. Did you know…Florida has the largest concentration of seniors under five feet 2 inches in height and they need our help? I myself am a volunteer for ‘The Vertically Challenged Over 80,’ I coach their basketball team, The Arthritic Avengers. The hoop is only 6 feet from the floor. You should see the look of confidence on their faces when they make a slam dunk.

Food shopping is a problem for us short seniors or ‘bottom feeders’ as we are called because we can’t reach the items on the upper shelves. There are many foods we’ve never tasted. Another thing, I don’t know about you but after shopping, I can’t remember where I parked my car and wander the parking lot for hours while the food I bought defrosts. So make sure you have a remote that can activate your horn to beep.

Lastly, it’s important to choose a development with an impressive name. Italian names are very popular in Florida. They convey world traveler, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather live… Mandelbaum’s Villas or the Lakes Of Venice? There’s no difference. They’re both owned by Mandelbaum who happens to be a cheap bastard.

I hope this material has been of help to you future retirees. If I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when you’re in Florida.. I live in The Leaning Condos of Pisa in Boynton Beach

Sent by friend Jerry Feldman, Boca Raton, Florida