BREAKING NEWS FROM KEY WEST, FLORIDA

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The U.S. Navy intercepted three boatloads of people off the coast of Florida today. This placed the Navy in an awkward position, as the boats were not heading to, but away from Florida toward Cuba.

Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with Americans who were all seniors on pensions trying to get to Cuba so as to be able to return to the U.S. as illegal immigrants and therefore be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate US pensioners. The Navy, it is believed, gave them food, water, fuel, and assisted them on their journey.

We are now booking the next boat out; let me know if you want to come along.