MENSA AWARDS FOR ALTERED WORDS

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject unable to cover expenses for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

6. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

7. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Glibido : All talk and no action.