AVOID THE “TURKEY BUTT SYNDROME”

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And now it’s almost time for our annual event: Turkey Butt Intervention. If you don’t know, Turkey Butt is a phenomenon in which our rear ends spread in direct proportion to the amount of turkey, dressing, green bean casserole and pecan pie we ingest on Thanksgiving. Turkey Butt can be compounded by the lesser known New Year Butt, which is a combination of excessive eating and inexcessive exercise in the period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.

It’s a fact that many of us put on a few pounds over the holidays, but there’s still time to avoid that by taking a few precautions. First, get rid of your Turkey Butt jeans. If you don’t know what those are, you can skip this step. If you’re nodding your head, you probably know that TBJs are jeans that are way too small for you. You put them on the morning of Thanksgiving and wear them all the way up to the big meal so as to avoid eating anything. At the stroke of dinner, you then change into elastic pants to accommodate the enormous amount of food that will soon take up space inside your belly.

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