SYNAGOGUE OF THE (not too distant) FUTURE

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RABBI (addressing the congregation):

“Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindles to Art Scroll page 232. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.”

P-a-u-s-e

Let us all daven. Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook; now let’s say our prayers and chat with God.”

S-i-l-e-n-c-e

“As you know, we gratefully accept charity, so please have your credit and debit cards ready to make your donation. You can log on to the Synagogue Wi-Fi using the password “CHAI-18.” The Shammos will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the congregants.”

Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the Shul.

Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.

Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cell phones to transfer your contributions to the Shul account.”

This week’s lesson is on a topic from the Torah will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don’t miss out.

Thursday’s Talmud study will be held live on Skype at 1900 hours GMT. Please don’t miss out.

Good news! This weekend you can follow the Rabbi for counseling and prayers on Twitter, Facebook and your iPhones.