THOUGHTS ON LIFE

Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it.
So I said ‘Implants?’
She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I had any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping,’ now I just ‘chunky dunk.’

Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children are not allowed to read a Bible in school, but prisoners in a jail can?