TEN MOST MISERABLE CITIES

Rhode Island loves your tax money, baby. Only NYC is worse. Maybe that’s why everyone is leaving?

9. Charlotte, N.C.
Bank of America and Wachovia call this city home, which doesn’t bode well for its unemployment rates.

8. Modesto, California
If you don’t have a job, move to Modesto! You’ll fit right in.

7. Los Angeles
Do you like driving, paying taxes and breathing pollution? Los Angeles is for you!

6. Chicago
If you like disappointing sports teams, wasting the best part of every day sitting in mind-bending traffic jams and freezing your ass off—move to my hometown—Chicago! If you’re not sure you can take it, google “Gaper’s Block” before you make any decisions.

5. Philadelphia

What do you get when you add long commutes, toxic waste, and violent crime? Sports fans who boo Santa Claus.

4. New York City
High income taxes, stupidly expensive housing, “the costs can make all but the super-wealthy miserable.”

3. Flint, Michigan
You can buy a house for $104,000… but where will you work?

2. Stockton, California
Stockton is the epicenter of the sub prime meltdown. What more do you need to say?

1. Detroit

The Motor City has high unemployment and tops the country when it comes to violent crime. As if that wasn’t bad enough—Detroit is toxic. It’s near the top of the list of cities that require the most Superfund dollars to clean up toxic waste sites. Congratulations, Detroit! You’re the most miserable people in the U.S.!

Guess it really is time to move to Pittsburgh. Do they allow Bears fans there?