1. When you hear your favorite song in an elevator.

2. When you go to the drug store for Miralax and Advil, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

3. When you keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. When your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

5. When you watch the Weather Channel.

6. When you’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

7. When your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

8. When your relatives feel comfortable telling dirty jokes around you.

9. When 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

10. When you take naps.

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