CLEVER QUOTES

Even a secret agent can’t lie to a Jewish mother. She will always know when you’re lying.
~ Peter Malkin

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
~ Joe E. Lewis

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
~ Jackie Mason

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
~ Woody Allen

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
~ Groucho Marx

Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair.
~ George Burns