WHAT YOUR WAITER WON’T TELL YOU

2. When customers’ dissatisfaction devolves into personal attacks, adulterating food or drink is a convenient way for servers to exact covert vengeance. Waiters can and do spit in people’s food.
3. Never say “I’m friends with the owner.” Restaurant owners don’t have friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the door.
4. Treat others as you want to be treated. (Yes, people need to be reminded of this.)
5. Splitting entrées is okay, but don’t ask for water, lemon, and sugar so you can make your own lemonade. What’s next, grapes so you can press your own wine?
6. If you can’t afford to leave a tip, you can’t afford to eat in the restaurant. Servers could be giving 20 percent or more of the tips they receive to the busboys, bartenders, maître d’, or hostess.
7. Always examine the check. Sometimes large parties are unaware that a gratuity has been added to the bill, so they tip on top of it. Waiters “facilitate” this error. It’s dishonest, it’s wrong-and I did it all the time.

8. If you want to hang out, that’s fine. But increase the tip to make up for money the server would have made if he or she had had another seating at that table.