You guys may be middle aged,

But you’re still my children,

And even though you think you don’t need my advice,

You need it!

Grandmother stereotype

Because who else is going to tell you all this:

Order the mixed green salad instead of the fries,

Peeing before a long car trip is always wise,

And call me once in a while, on this point I am ruthless.

Remember to floss, periodontal disease is no laughing matter, and you may wind up toothless,

Wear comfortable shoes and take care of your feet,

And wash your hands before you eat.

And you guys may be middle aged but you still should listen to my advice…Cabbage often causes gas,

When serving drinks outdoors, use plastic not glass,

It never hurts to pay a compliment,

Remembering a sick friend, can pay more dividends than you ever dreamt…And you guys may be middle aged, but you’re still my children, AND I’M STILL YOUR MOTHER.

From the book, I’m Too Young To Be Seventy, by Judith Viorst, with a little editing and a few changes here and there by Harvey.

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