MENU BANDITS

They are wonderful company; he’s an accountant with a great sense of humor and his stories keep me laughing; she is charming, well informed, agreeable, upbeat and always smiling. So, what’s the problem? Oh! No problem, except when it comes to dining at a restaurant.

Their little game, which took us a while to uncover, is to order the most expensive choices on the menu. A two pound lobster for her, right on! The 48 ounce sirloin for him, O.K., he says he had a busy day and skipped lunch. It’s Barbara (she has no restraint) who informs the waiter that the Shnorras will have another round of drinks, while Anita (meekly) protests, “Oh, no more for us, thank you.”

So, what’s wrong? They simply play this little ruse every time we are eating out. Why? Well, maybe it’s his background in accounting, but these 2 crafty individuals know we will be subsidizing the meal by splitting the check. So, they go all out to order the most expensive dishes. For our part, when Anita and I hear what they ordered, we start looking at the least expensive things on the menu to offset, so that makes it even better for them.

In what may be a friendship ending plot, we decided to do something about this rip-off. Last night they ordered first (as usual $$$$$) and then we ordered 2nd as usual ($). The waiter was about to leave when I said, to him, “Please change our order, we are not that hungry tonight, so just bring us the wine we ordered and please don’t forget we will want separate checks.” So now the Schnorras had to pay with the emphasis on pay for their costly food choices. Their mouths fell open and stayed that way even before the food arrived.