CONSERVATIVES FLEE TO CANADA

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The flood of American Evangelical conservatives sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.The actions of President Trump are prompting the exodus among right wing Republican citizens. who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Rev, Sharpton.

“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Republican huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield. The poor guy was cold, exhausted and hungry.

“He asked me if I could spare a latte. I told him the nearest Starbucks was 500 miles to the East.

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, farmer Greenfield erected higher fences, but the right-wingers scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Obama’s speeches across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The G.O.P. guys still got through, and Obama’s voice annoyed the cows so much they wouldn’t give milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet the fleeing Republicans near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. “A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a drop of drinking water.

“They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though.”