[1] What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce. – Mark Twain

[2] My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. – Ed Furgol

[3] Money can’t buy you happiness… but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. – Spike Milligan

[4] Don’t worry about avoiding temptation … as you grow older, it will avoid you. – Winston Churchill

[5] Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty.. but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. – Phyllis Diller

[6] I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the floral catalogue: “No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

[7] The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. – George Burns

[8] By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. – Billy Crystal


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