HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba!

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t even think about playing with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think the bite wounds are life-threatening , but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.
Rocky